Silencing Critical Voices #6

Silencing Critical Voices
Issue # 6: Relationships

Looking under the anorexia mask!

For me, anorexia is like an actual person who makes these enticing promises to improve my life, thus making me a happier person. A big part of me believes that if I'm thin, everything will magically fall into place. Following a few conversations with Marie- Nathalie, I decided to explore how these "promises" are really lies.

Promise

Why the Promise is a Lie

I will be happier if I'm thinner.

I'm thinner than I was a year ago, but I'm not happier; I was much

Happier a year ago. When I think about it, the thinner I get, the

more unhappy I seem to be.

If I eat (and gain weight), I will have less control over my life. The

I don't have more control over my life. I actually feel like I have

less I eat, the more control I'll have over my life.

less control over my life and feelings. My emotions seem to

Randomly flip-flop from one extreme to the other (ex. from happy

to angry). I sometimes don't even know if I'm hungry or not.

People will like me better if I'm thinner. They will think I have

People would prefer I be healthy and happy because I'm more

more discipline and am more "together" if I am thinner.

fun to be around (ex. I'm not as moody). People perceive others

to be more together when they are happy and healthy. I’m not

much fun to be around now; I'm always complaining about

Everything and everyone. I’m also more grumpy and moody and

little things easily make me angry.

Mom and Dad will like me better if I am thinner. They will think

Mom and Dad would prefer me to be happy and healthy. As Mom

I’m more disciplined and will thus be more proud of me.

once told me, "It's almost painful for us to look at you." They

would be most proud to see me recover. When I casually asked

Dad what his Chistmas wish was, he said, "To see you get better

and be happy."

Guys will find me more attractive if I'm thinner.

I haven't dated at all this past year. In fact, I actually broke up

with my boyfriend of 3-1/2 years this past year and haven't been

asked out at all since. Most guys don't like girls who are stick

skinny and obsess about their weight all the time.

If I'm thinner, I'll do better at my job and in all other areas of my

Anorexia probably hinders my job performance. I've noticed that

life.

I've become more forgetful lately (ex. I couldn't remember the

name of one of the graduate schools my brother applied to, I

couldn't remember the name of the art museum my Mom and I

visited in L.A over the summer). I be forgetting little things like

this at work too.

I'll like myself better if I’m thinner.

I used to like myself a lot more last year (when I graduated from

UCD); I was proud of myself for graduating with High Honors and

receiving a departmental award. I was also a more confident

person. Now, I don't like myself very much; I beat myself up

over trivial things (ex. tripping over things).

Guys love fashion models because they're so beautiful. The

The guys in the fashion magazines are getting paid to swoon

magazines always portray beautiful women with hoards of guys

over the models. Guys probably prefer women who are more

lusting after them. I was watching MTV's Fashion Week where

approachable and down-to-earth. Many guys take advantage of

all the guys were swooning as the models paraded down the

models sexually; they date them soley because of their beauty

catwalk.

and don't care about who they are.

Fashion models are naturally thin and gorgeous.

Although some models are naturally tall and lean, many of them

diet, starve, and lead unhealthy lifestyles (ex. smoking, drinking

to keep their weight down). Also, the images we see in the

magazines have been digitally touched up so the models look

much better than they do in person. For one of Cindy Crawford's

"Cosmopolitan" covers, they digitally "shaved" off part of her inner

thigh to make it look thinner. Many models also have lipsuction

and breast implants. So, the images we see aren't real.

The fashion world is so glamorous and fun.

The fashion world is actually very cut-throat; lots of rivalries and

hatred among the models. It's a very competitive world too.

Models are constantly the subject of unflattering tabloid stories/

rumors. They're valued for what they look like, not who they are.

This ultimately results in low-self esteem. Plus, a person's

exterior beauty won't last forever, but their interior beauty will.

There are so many ads for diet products that promise you'll be

Those ads are a bunch of crap. Although the idea of taking a

thin ASAP. It is very tempting to try them, especially when they

pill that will magically make you thin seems tempting, it doesn't

are accompanied by photos of smiling thin women.

work and is often very dangerous (ex. people have died of heart

attacks, etc.). Also, diets like The Zone, etc. are dangerous; as

my cousin once said to me, "Any diet that completely eliminates

an entire food group has got to be bad for you." It makes me

mad that the diet industry preys upon women's insecurities about

their weight solely to sell products and make money. I'll always

remember a quote from a video I recently saw: "It's profitable for

women to feel bad about themselves."

Back to Article 2

Forward to Article 4

Promise	Why the Promise is a Lie
I will be happier if I'm thinner.	I'm thinner than I was a year ago, but I'm not happier; I was much
	Happier a year ago. When I think about it, the thinner I get, the
	more unhappy I seem to be.
If I eat (and gain weight), I will have less control over my life. The	I don't have more control over my life. I actually feel like I have
less I eat, the more control I'll have over my life.	less control over my life and feelings. My emotions seem to
	Randomly flip-flop from one extreme to the other (ex. from happy
	to angry). I sometimes don't even know if I'm hungry or not.
People will like me better if I'm thinner. They will think I have	People would prefer I be healthy and happy because I'm more
more discipline and am more "together" if I am thinner.	fun to be around (ex. I'm not as moody). People perceive others
	to be more together when they are happy and healthy. I’m not
	much fun to be around now; I'm always complaining about
	Everything and everyone. I’m also more grumpy and moody and
	little things easily make me angry.
Mom and Dad will like me better if I am thinner. They will think	Mom and Dad would prefer me to be happy and healthy. As Mom
I’m more disciplined and will thus be more proud of me.	once told me, "It's almost painful for us to look at you." They
	would be most proud to see me recover. When I casually asked
	Dad what his Chistmas wish was, he said, "To see you get better
	and be happy."
Guys will find me more attractive if I'm thinner.	I haven't dated at all this past year. In fact, I actually broke up
	with my boyfriend of 3-1/2 years this past year and haven't been
	asked out at all since. Most guys don't like girls who are stick
	skinny and obsess about their weight all the time.
If I'm thinner, I'll do better at my job and in all other areas of my	Anorexia probably hinders my job performance. I've noticed that
life.	I've become more forgetful lately (ex. I couldn't remember the
	name of one of the graduate schools my brother applied to, I
	couldn't remember the name of the art museum my Mom and I
	visited in L.A over the summer). I be forgetting little things like
	this at work too.
I'll like myself better if I’m thinner.	I used to like myself a lot more last year (when I graduated from
	UCD); I was proud of myself for graduating with High Honors and
	receiving a departmental award. I was also a more confident
	person. Now, I don't like myself very much; I beat myself up
	over trivial things (ex. tripping over things).
Guys love fashion models because they're so beautiful. The	The guys in the fashion magazines are getting paid to swoon
magazines always portray beautiful women with hoards of guys	over the models. Guys probably prefer women who are more
lusting after them. I was watching MTV's Fashion Week where	approachable and down-to-earth. Many guys take advantage of
all the guys were swooning as the models paraded down the	models sexually; they date them soley because of their beauty
catwalk.	and don't care about who they are.
Fashion models are naturally thin and gorgeous.	Although some models are naturally tall and lean, many of them
	diet, starve, and lead unhealthy lifestyles (ex. smoking, drinking
	to keep their weight down). Also, the images we see in the
	magazines have been digitally touched up so the models look
	much better than they do in person. For one of Cindy Crawford's
	"Cosmopolitan" covers, they digitally "shaved" off part of her inner
	thigh to make it look thinner. Many models also have lipsuction
	and breast implants. So, the images we see aren't real.
The fashion world is so glamorous and fun.	The fashion world is actually very cut-throat; lots of rivalries and
	hatred among the models. It's a very competitive world too.
	Models are constantly the subject of unflattering tabloid stories/
	rumors. They're valued for what they look like, not who they are.
	This ultimately results in low-self esteem. Plus, a person's
	exterior beauty won't last forever, but their interior beauty will.
There are so many ads for diet products that promise you'll be	Those ads are a bunch of crap. Although the idea of taking a
thin ASAP. It is very tempting to try them, especially when they	pill that will magically make you thin seems tempting, it doesn't
are accompanied by photos of smiling thin women.	work and is often very dangerous (ex. people have died of heart
	attacks, etc.). Also, diets like The Zone, etc. are dangerous; as
	my cousin once said to me, "Any diet that completely eliminates
	an entire food group has got to be bad for you." It makes me
	mad that the diet industry preys upon women's insecurities about
	their weight solely to sell products and make money. I'll always
	remember a quote from a video I recently saw: "It's profitable for
	women to feel bad about themselves."